▇ Errors     ▇ Suggestions   ▇ Rephrased

Re: Ms. Sarah King 

Dear Dr. Smythe

I am writing regarding Ms. Sara king (the) medication assessment, a 41-year-old married woman (,)who has two daughters and works in a call center as a manager. (as a manager in call center)

She is our long-term customer and has been suffering from SLE since childhood and( . “full stop here”) also has a family history of type two diabetes. She has been taking Indomethacin 25-5 mg and Hydroxychloroquine sulfate since childhood(,) in addition of (to) Cytoxan and Prednisolone since 2020 for her SLE. (new paragraph)One week ago, she had an appointment with her doctor and mentioned trouble sleeping, general fatigue, joint pain and headache and asked him about (expressed concerns about) long-term side effects of steroids. Her doctor diagnosed that she has an stress and also her SLE has been flare-up. He advised her to try rest and reduce working time. He told her about (explained) the benefits of steroids weight (outweighing) the side effects.  (use passive voice)

*in addition to
*rephrased: Her doctor diagnosed stress and a flare-up of her SLE.

Today, she presented to our pharmacy and requested for an over the counter sleeping tablet( . “full stop here”) and told me about (During our conversation, she mentioned…) her last appointment with her doctor and her frustration about (a/the) lack of progress. She told me (She shared that) she has been (feeling) moody and irritable with her children and has been experiencing anxiety because of her (the) long term use of the steroids and her decision about reducing prednisolone (,) which was started from one week ago and wants to starting (to start: simple form of the verb after “to”) the sleeping tablets contrary to her doctor’s advice.

I advised her that suddenly starting and stop (stopping) the prednisolone may led (may lead) to some (potential) side effects but she did not change her mind and asked me (requested) to inform her GP about her decision. I would appreciate it if you could assess her decision and manage her medication safely. If you have any more (further ) questions, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Yours sincerely

Pharmacist

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  B Overall score: (350)

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